• rebasgr8

Where am I?

Updated: Jun 15

So a lot of time has passed ... a lot. It feels like years have passed in the matter of months. I speak with friends on the phone, enjoy their voices, miss their presence, but I know I’m not the same. That passionate me is still there. The one overflowing with energy and determination.... the one who thinks deeply about things. The creative one. The silly one. The one who walks her own path, only doing what she feels is right regardless of Earthly influences. But otherwise, she's changed. She's changed in regards to the world. She no longer needs the world... maybe no longer wants the world. But you say, "Oh no... poor her!" And she answers, "You don't understand. You see; you can still enjoy the cocktail party you're at, while preferring to be at the grand ball just a few levels up. I think I found that something big and it's marvelous" (See “Bio" on the About Me page for the “something big” reference.)

Okay, so you know I turned to God.... and Yahousha. I call our Messiah Yahousha as I have learned that Jesus most likely was not His original name. YHWY, the name for God, also has the "Yah" in His name, pronounced as Yahweh or Yahouah. There is much research, as well as misinformation on this so I found myself studyng for hours and days before coming to this decision which I pray is correct. The familiar name for our Messiah, Jesus, was a Greek substitution for his name it seems. Jesus wasn't Greek. Jesus was Hebrew, some say Aramaic, and Jesus was used as a substitution for Yahousha (Yashuah, etc.). The exact vowel sounds and pronunciation of our Messiah’s original name is up for debate, but Jesus (Ieos, Iesous, etc) is not even close. That’s because “Jesus” is neither a translation (holds the meaning) nor is it a transliteration (sounds the same or nearly the same). Before you go on about the letter J not being in the language at the time, let me stop you. The letter J only becomes relevant when discussing the transliteration from Greek to English or other languages. We are discussing the change that occurred way before that time. Plus, a transliteration has everything to do with sound and nothing to do with letters. The name Jesus can be linked to a Greek pagan goddess and other things. Might be worth some more research. Anyway, I’m not here to judge what others decide to call Him, and only the Almighty has the full story. This is simply what I have learned and why I chose not to say Jesus. At this time, I say Yahousha (Messiah). I could go on about the <a> sound and totally geek out on the sacredness of the resonance and it’s relation to other Biblical names, Sarai to Sar<a>h, Abram to Abrah<a>m, Jacob to Isr<a> "el," but I digress! (Hallelu- Yah. Do you see it? Means "praise Yah.")

If you’re still reading, you’re much better than the old me, because I would have judged my new self as being silly to believe in such things and would never have made it this far. Okay, so I promise I won't shove my beliefs down your throat. The eager child in me wanting to share has subsided. I understand we each have to find our own paths. I can only demonstrate the light and plant seeds. It's up to each of us to decide to water those seeds, allow them to hibernate, or throw them into a furnish. I’ll just discuss the analytical part of my journey.

My journey towards the Light is different from most. (Note for believers: Not the false light. I'm speaking of Messiah here.) I don't even think I would call myself Christian as I don't espouse most of their doctrines. I am simply a believer in Yahousha ha’Mashiah and a believer of the Bible. I find the things I'm learning to be very different from what you'd find in a denominational church. Luckily, the internet has been my friend in connecting me with others. I think I now understand why I rejected God and "religion" years ago. Now, I can see that I was turned off by the doctrines of men, the hypocrisy and watered down scriptures. Church often felt like a self-help session to me. Fluff without substance. I'm sure much of it was my own ignorance. However, I recently strolled into two different denominational churches. I'd rather put forks in my eyes than do it again. Okay; not the holiest thing to say. I am adding some humor to keep you here. Wink, wink. I don't mean any disrespect to Father either, it's just I wanted more. You might be thinking… “I hear PRIDE!” Good one. Yes, that would and could be a lot of pride coming from someone chasing the “fruits of the Spirit.” However, I don’t think it is, although I’ll admit that pride is one of my weaknesses. No. It’s just an aversion to false doctrines. I had always perceived it (the denominational churches) as too effortless… too convenient… and too superficial. Now I see, there's nothing fluffy or superficial about it. I discovered that I had been deceived by the church itself, not His church, but the ones I had belonged to ... and by society itself, definitely by society! And the world was way more enticing for me than seeking the truth for myself.

God’s design seems to come in sevens. You can count them, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 & rest on 7 (That's Saturday not Sunday). The seven represents the “set apart” one, in my opinion. This pattern can be seen throughout the Bible. Here are some lesser known patterns of seven: The seven Spirits, with "wisdom" being the “set apart” one… that’s another discussion. Then there are the 7 churches in the Book of Revelation. The 7th church is “the Church in Philidelphia,” the last one of seven, the "set apart one" that got all God’s praise. So what am I saying? Well, if this pattern of 7 is replicated, that would mean only a 7th of Christians are currently on the right path towards everlasting life. Interesting.

So what is it that I found so enticing, so intriguing? You see, as I study the scriptures and remove almost everything man told us about the Bible and about God, I see that these books (Bible, the Apocrypha and others) are the most incredible, intelligent, wise, and beautiful books ever written, not to mention the Bible is a history book. The God I never quite understood, even judged, was all due to my own lack of understanding. Most importantly, the overall design, where we came from, where we are going and how we get there is simply something that is truly beyond man's imagination, the work of God, and not easy to learn! With all the misinformation and false teaching out of the way, we can see these sacred texts are far superior to any of man's explanations or "science." Yes; I just said that, and it's okay if we disagree. The science of evolution has not been proven to this day. It's faith in that science that you believe. ...ask any professor to prove otherwise. Unfortunately, there's far more false doctrine on the Bible than truth which would be harder to shove aside. But that's also in His design! So, personally, I don'’t see how these sacred books could not have been inspired by God Himself. And walking His walk is not child's play, not a checklist, nor is it a one and done.

So in conclusion, I am totally “geeking out” on the Bible. It’s so fascinating, and there is nothing I want more than to learn the knowledge it holds. I ask for wisdom daily and she delivers. And I want nothing more than for Him to find me worthy. Allelu-YAH.

Matthew 7:13 -14

Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it.

Matthew 7:21-23 Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’


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