This is it.
Updated: Feb 14
This may be my last post, so I'm going to make it a good one for the few of you who are reading this. As I write this, I realize I shouldn't say that. I commit too soon, too often. I do love writing but I have to want to write. I just haven't wanted to write lately. I'm enjoying the freedom of my new life a bit too much.
I was brought up Catholic, went to Sunday school, and learned not a thing, being too young to fully comprehend their teachings and mostly disinterested. However, later in my adult life, I turned away from the church altogether and gradually away from God, calling myself agnostic. I had various reasons, the main one was the horrific history of the Catholic church. I decided religion was only for people who needed help from others to do good things. Boy was I wrong.
The other thing you should know about me is that my father was highly into metaphysics, to the point that I wanted NOTHING to do with it as soon as I left the nest. However, everything changed in the Fall of 2019.
Two years ago, I went to a psychic on a whim, a friend had recommended. The psychic told me that I was was highly spiritual which made no sense to me. I even avoided putting "spiritual but not religious" on my dating profiles although it would most likely get more hits but I opted for the truth, "agnostic." Anyway, back to my psychic reading. She said I was very spiritual and one of the most fluid people she had worked with (whatever "most fluid" means??). But I'm AGNOSTIC, I declared, "Like really agnostic and I don't do anything spiritual." Two weeks later, I drove by a psychic fair, and now curious, I stopped for a visit. I went straight to a lovely woman who does Reiki, psychic readings, channeling, the works. Whatever happened felt extremely powerful and brought me to tears, but not the tears of sadness or joy, just tears. I felt my body vibrate. She finished and told me she had worked on balancing an energy inside me. She saw an orange tiger and white tiger and didn't know if it meant they were competing with each other or if I was moving from one to the other. She also said I was approaching or in a spiritual awakening. Many of the things she said were similar to the psychic I had seen a couple weeks back. I was literally blown away. How could this be happening? At the end she grabbed both my hands and said, "I'm so excited for you. Strange and new things are going to start happening to you. Look out for the synchronicity to come." Now, still in disbelief, I quickly walked to the other side of the room for a second opinion and had yet another reading from someone else. She starts with, "I see two mountains, one large and one smaller. I don't know if if it represents this or that ..." Again, I'm utterly taken back! I keep quiet while she goes on to talk about this spiritual awakening I'm in. I leave dumbfounded.
About 3 weeks later, I am on lunch break chatting about where to go for my upcoming vacation. A co-worker says, "Go to Encinitas. I think you'll love it, a quant surfing town. I went home and something told me I should just do it! So I bought a ticket and reserved a rental car.
In February, I arrived in Encinitas, CA, unbeknownst to me, one of the most spiritual hubs in the US, home of the Self-Realization Fellowship established by Paramahansa Yogananda in 1937. Here's were more synchronicity began. I woman at a clothing shop randomly tells me that I'm in luck because Flossie Park would be teaching her monthly sound healing that Friday, which fills up quickly because it's so wonderful. So I went. The Tibetan bowls, gong, and other instruments along with her voice was out of this world. My face, nose and head, was literally vibrating. That week I also visited the famous yogi sanctuary in Encinitas. The entire trip was magnificent, relaxing and spiritual. I knew someone was calling me to look into these things although who I didn't know, at the time.
One month later, covid hit. I was told not to return to work on March 16. Being single and in Seattle where everyone took things seriously, I was completely isolated. I followed the covid restrictions religiously and used the time to research spiritualism online and to research everything I could get my hands on...ancient history, portals, lay lines, and more. I read Eckhart Tolle and others, signed up for a subscription of Gaia TV, and meditated everyday under a tree at a park. It was a fascinating journey. My entire life changed. I found the purest joy and happiness. Not that I hadn't found extreme joy, and even ecstasy prior to this, but never for such a prolonged period of time and something was different. I didn't mind being by myself for the first time in my life, I didn't notice time, and at the same time, I didn't waste time either. I was in utter joy and even my brain seemed to be more focused and able to perceive things more deeply. I found God, but not the Bible and not Jesus. Just God, knowing now that God definitely existed. I wasn't praying in the typical sense, but I did meditate, always through God. Intuitively, I worked on opening my chakras. After the George Floyd incident on June 29 and during the protests that followed, I often visualized my heart chakra expanding, visualizing a green goo that spread out over the city, then the nation, until it poured down a green goo of LOVE, on Trump, on the protesters in the streets, on the police, on everyone. I also lost an entire week of sleep, throwing myself into the heart of the chaos wanting to "DO" something to stop it. During this time, going down the rabbit hole of spirituality was definitely a "new age" spirituality, feeling that this matrix we live in was created by God our creator but that we too have access to these sacred mysteries or abilities... believing it could all be explained by mathematics, vibration and energy.
During this covid isolation and chaos, I gradually began to look at the world differently, releasing previously held ideas. I was liberal. Now I am non-political, understanding it's just Pepsi vs Coke. I slowly let go of the grip the media had on me and started to truly open my eyes to all possibilities. I felt something wasn't right about the "you-know-what" that was being advocated around the world. So, I avoided it and avoided talking about it with friends who had all lined up as quickly as possible to get it.
In 2020 I decided to build out a van, as you know from reading my previous posts and bio. I wanted to take advantage of the covid restrictions I could foresee continuing, and with a self contained van, I could travel regardless of covid restrictions. So that summer, of 2021, I jumped in my van and went on a 5-week journey with my little Chihuahua. It was amazing. Before these things, I always thought myself to be an extrovert and would never say no to a night on the town. Now, I could enjoy the solitude and even welcome it.
In the middle of this trip, my mom fell ill in hospital. Her heart & lungs were failing and she was diagnosed with 6 fractures in her back and sepsis, too. My sister advised me to come thinking this might be it. So I quickly drove to San Diego, left my van and dog with strangers, friends of my sister's, and flew back home to the East coast. During this, I had a knowing that I could help my mom. I can't explain but I just knew. While at the hospital my sister and I broke every covid rule... it helps to be friendly to the nurses! We even created a fake visitor badge as only one person was allowed per day! That's another super funny story in itself. We took turns sleeping there at night. I spent the first day and night watching over my mom although I had just landed on a red-eye flight. I laid (or hovered) my hands on her 3 - 5 times a day, and throughout that night, asking God to use me as a vessel to heal my mom. The things I did, I did instinctively. I know it's hard to believe, and I know many of you are thinking it had to be a coincidence. The old me would have thought the same thing reading this. However, I know it wasn't a coincidence. The very next day, my mom was stirring and doing better, miraculously better, and she was able to open her eyes and speak to me. Her heart and lungs much better. I can't remember if it was this 2nd day or the 3rd but the doctor said that they may have been wrong and she didn't have sepsis after all as there was no signs of it. Mom got up, with help, and even used the portable toilet beside her bed. During one the sessions with my mom, my sister witnessed her heart and lungs improving on the meters while I was over my mom, pointing franticly for me to look. My mom's pain in her back also subsided as she was moving around with her 6 fractures, if they were all still there. Unbeknownst to her, I had told the nurse she didn't need the pain patch they were giving her for her back. Now, I'm not telling you these things to get your kudos, to put myself above you or anyone else, nor am I telling you these things to claim I have any special abilities that you don't have. I believe we all can do these things when we have faith. The Bible even tells us we can and speaks of laying hands on people and how we can do the things Jesus did. I didn't know these things at the time, as I didn't know the Bible. However, I do believe this happened for a reason. I believe God, once again, was getting my attention so I would believe in him. But at the time, I still wasn't listening, but I felt grateful. I tell you these things hoping others will believe, too, believe that there's more to this life than the physical plane we are on. I also tell you so you understand my story and where it led me.
On day 3, I think, I spoke with my mom telling her Homer and my van were waiting in San Diego. As the docs were saying she was better and ready to move to rehab soon, I asked her if she wanted me to stay. Although she wanted me there, she released me, and I flew back to Homer and the van.
When I returned from the van trip, school started and everything changed again. I quickly learned I wouldn't be able to work without consenting to the "you-know-what." Besides that I had more than a few friends I had known for over 20 years who didn't want to be around me any more. It was disheartening to say the least, and still is, but I wish them well and send them love. My instincts told me that it would literally become unsafe for me to be in Seattle. I had a gut feeling, or intuition if you will, of what was to come, things that have yet to fully arrive in Seattle. However, I was sure they would and still am sure they will as they have in many parts of the world, the depth of which is unbeknownst to most.
Quickly after my return from my van trip, I lost my teaching job as I didn't have the "you-know-what". So, I thought hard on my predicament of suddenly becoming unemployed, already loosing dear friends, and seeing a future that looked bleak where I stood. So, I sold my beloved home of 15 yrs while the real estate market was highly in my favor, left my entire dance company and its costumes to one of my dancers to manage, and sold all my belongings except a small storage unit of supplies, tools, clothes, and small odds and ends. It was difficult and I even told my realtor to "hold" for more time to think, however, I arrived at the same conclusion. It was bittersweet. So much richness was my life in Seattle, all of which I am grateful for. So many genuine friends, friends I cherish dearly, as well as a dance company of active dancers and alumni whom I adore. However, I felt that soon many may not feel that way about me. So I left.
I jumped into my van with no real plan except to vacation for a while and then find like minded peeps, buy land, a home, and a new life elsewhere. Not that location would avoid what was to come but thinking it would at least buy me some time. [At that time I felt I knew what was "to come" but this was purely on a physical level only.] A couple days into the journey, and I knew I had made the right decision for me. I felt giddy, for adventure was to come. As it was almost winter however, vacationing and settling down somewhere would be delayed as I don't like to drive in the snow and ice, and especially not in a high roof ProMaster van! So I planned a shorter vacation, making my way south and then to the east to visit family on the coast for the winter.
During the journey, I would say I definitely started to wake up. By the way, I left 2nd week of November. Not long ago, so the these things have all happened quite quickly, although in a van with no job or plan, you have all the time in the world.
I drove 5,000 miles with stops along the way, with sightseeing and a visit with a few friends until I reached my final winter destination. During the journey, I started to turn towards God more and more. I was also really confused as I was seeing videos and reading about the satanism that is rampant in the world, in our movies, commercials, Hollywood, politics, government, royalty, even in some churches, etc. [Again I know many are blowing me off at this point, maybe even considering closing this tab. I understand where you come from and hope you'll continue.] The more I learned, the more I got confused. I prayed one morning asking for God to open my eyes and help me see the truth!
Literally, 3 hours later, I was in Bisbee, AZ. Bisbee, I later learned, has a satanic temple and a Masonic lodge. Anyway, it was surreal. Most every art gallery was full of satanic art and it was seen throughout the town. I could feel it. That night, I went to a recommended restaurant. Throughout was a decor of satanic rituals, flags, Baphomet worship and other creepy things. I pretended to be nonchalant and questioned the bartender about the satanic theme of the town. She mentioned that most of the art work was there as long as she had worked there, and disclosed that most of their bands are satanic. She also seemed quite nonchalant about it. It was just a thing. Other weird things happened that literally scared me to the point of actual tears. That night I prayed for protection while I slept in my van. I left first thing that next morning although the owner where I had parked had invited me for Thanksgiving dinner. I found much of the same in the adjacent towns. I bought my usual coffee at a Starbucks and it rang up to $6.66. I can't make this stuff up. I was truly astonished. The cashier said she must have rang up something else instead and corrected her error. Another scary and weird thing happened at a grocery store. A couple nights later, I decided, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the Lord was showing me what I needed to see! To be honest, I was scared, very scared. I woke up with dreams as well which scared me more. By the way, I bought my first Bible in Bisbee! I had never purchased one in my life. I had one given to me as a child, but that's it. Since these events, I found my way back to normalcy. However, I began to turn away from the new age spirituality realizing if there is goodness in some of it, I'm not good enough nor wise enough to dabble in it. I realize now that most of us aren't meant to go down that path of metaphysics, as it can lead towards evil quite easily without you knowing it. I do feel some of it is okay as long as you are only going through Jesus or God, (not the god of this Earth as told in the Bible), but I turned away from it.
Since that scary time, I have been studying the Bible and researching. I have learned a ton with all the time in the world on my hands but with so much still to learn. I know most of you may dismiss me, but I'm going to open up my heart to you and be vulnerable. Based on all of this and other things happening on a worldwide scale, I believe these are the end of times, as in the time of Tribulation as told throughout the Bible. I am not a prophet but there are many. And one only needs to invest real time into reading and understanding the Bible, to see the signs ever so prevalent now. Is that why I have woken up? Are others doing the same? I have used today to share these words with you in hopes some of the non believers will open their minds and "see." I feel and have heard that things may even happen this very evening, Christmas Eve on the Judea calendar, January 6, 2022. If they don't, they will soon enough I feel fairly certain. If this comes to pass in our time, the horrors are going to be like nothing you could ever imagine, but not for everyone. The prayers I have listed below, for anyone now inspired, is all you need to start a course of salvation.
Sending you all love and blessings.
Two prayers for those interested:
Dear God, I come before you today with a humble heart and surrender my life to you. I believe that Jesus Christ was born free of sin, died on the cross as a payment for my own sin, and rose three days later. I believe in your gift of salvation and eternal life because of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. God, today I repent and turn from my old way of life. Because of your mercy and grace I can have childlike faith. Today I ask for new life through Jesus Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit. Thank you God for forgiving me and making me brand new. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.